My Overrated Perspective
by Yosuke
Summary: Celty lives a life most wouldn't understand, but she is content. That is, until Izaya Orihara throws her a curveball (as expected), but it's nothing the courier can't handle... until that curveball turns into a drunk Shizuo at her doorstep, ready to spill some feelings neither of them were ready for. Rated for slight language and minor violence. ShizuxCel, implied IzaxCel.
1. Chapter 1

My Overrated Perspective - Part 1

Yosuke

AN: DRRR! quickly became one of my favorite anime ever. Celty was just so epic, and Shizuo was, surprisingly, my favorite character, despite how his personality and backstory have been done a million times over in every anime. He was just so fun to watch! And I guess the "I'll just use this VENDING MACHINE, or perhaps this OFF-RAMP SIGN as a weapon, kthnx" thing was amazingly awesome.

As a note, I was far more fond of the idea of using the Japanese quotations marks for Celty's speech, however I couldn't figure them out in the alt-codes, plus even if I did, I wouldn't really want to type them in everytime the chick talks, so I just ended up using brackets instead to substitute. Sorry!

Story takes place after the Saika arc and before the Yellow Scarves' return. Story is in relation to the anime, not to the graphic novels.

DRRR! not mine.

* * *

I don't know if I ever should have found it strange that others relied so heavily on my opinion sometimes. In a sense, it did bother me that everyone could find me so important when I clearly only had one job, and that was to be a courier, a task that required very little input from me. I did what I was paid to do, or sometimes whatever Shinra asked. I think people just get a kick out of trying to talk to me and seeing me respond with such an unconventional form of primary communication. Yes, phones and PDAs and all sorts of electronic devices were generally acceptable as ways of talking to other people, but not quite to the extent that I had to use them, and I think most of my clients and friends found it interesting, even comical, that my fast-paced typing was my way of getting by.

I admit that getting some of the attention was nice, even flattering, but sometimes it felt like I were standing in the middle of a crowd of spectators and each one wanted to see me jump through a flaming hoop because no one else could. Again, it was flattering up to a certain point, but after a while the searing glances of everyone, so inquisitive about this strange creature amongst them, became a bother and rather embarrassing. That's mainly why I had such a tendency to hole myself up in the apartment with Shinra, which more times than not was counterproductive. He examined me more than anyone else. While other people would have the courtesy to at least cover up their stares, Shinra relented, compounding me day after day with thorough scientific analysis about why I did whatever and how it was done. Given the man was a scientist and a doctor, I couldn't blame him, but after a while the hamster is going to fall out of the wheel; I needed my space.

So into my bedroom I often went, putting away my laptop and lying in the quiet solidarity of my privacy. At times this could remind me of a deep loneliness I had experienced once but my non-existent mind was hesitant to let me remember in the slightest. However, I could ignore it and rest, wondering about tomorrow and how much stranger my life could get.

Don't misunderstand me; I liked the people I knew. I don't want anyone to ever think that I didn't like being around them, because to me these people were the most interesting people anyone could ever come to know, and I was fortunate enough to be their friend. And all the attention they gave me was warranted, for how many people in the world could say they encountered a headless person on a daily basis? It was with trepidation that I often found myself just as amazed by these people as they were with me. Izaya, for instance, was a confounding person and often I felt like I could never understand what he was thinking. But his messages, often cryptic, were completely tangible and I could only sit back and wonder at his thought process. And despite what it may have obviously looked like, I think Izaya had more respect for me than anyone else did, which was nice, I guess. The man frightened me sometimes, though. He had the personality of a deranged schoolboy ready to shoot up the faculty and bullies for always undermining him. But as far as I could tell, Izaya was relatively sane, though it was difficult to remain in a conversation with him, because it always felt like he was playing mind tricks, and at any moment I would somehow be persuaded to kill anyone who ever dared to look at me. Izaya could definitely be frightening.

Then there was the schoolmates, Mikado, Kida, and Sonohara. Kida was the one I'd never come to know personally, but from the way Mikado talked about him, he was a genuine person, someone I'd like to have acquaintances with. Sonohara was a dear girl, very lovely and timid and very respectful of me, which was something I always appreciated. And Mikado, our great leader, was the only one I could ever call down-to-earth. He'd seen both sides of one world, the calm and peaceful life he'd lived once before, and the shallow and torrential life of the city of Ikebukuro. Everything always seemed to faze him, which was always rather amusing to see, but deep down I knew it wouldn't shake him. He was, after all, our leader, the one to create the Dollars. To be the head of a gang took a real backbone, and I wasn't at all ashamed to say that this scrawny, short little boy was the strongest person I ever knew.

There were so many others left, so many I'd known and liked or disliked, people I'd hurt or defeated, people I'd saved, people who scared me or angered me... Shinra's dad I could skip wasting a thought on, Simon, who could make you believe he was anyone's friend, that group of Dollars' members who traveled in a van like a bunch of bankrobbers fleeing a heist, the Yellow Scarves, who I was adamant about avoiding for the sole purpose of trying to keep my evenings peaceful, the Blue Squares, who were relatively quiet and withered as a formidable gang, the girl from Raira Academy who'd feigned stealing me head and the boy who was in love with her (or rather, my head)... So many people, so much activity in one town known for its uproarious behavior. Though, in the back of my head (so to speak), I felt like I had been forgetting someone...

My thoughts were interrupted by the horn of a car blaring behind me. I turned to look, seeing a couple of teenagers hanging out of the windows of their car as they rode closely behind me on the highway. They were waving and cheering, calling "Go Headless Rider! You're the boss!" Again, the attention was kind of nice, but it felt unsettling, especially coming from such reckless people who would rather cheer on a perfect stranger than pay attention to the road. But I thought I'd humor them by giving them a small wave, then spurring my bike to go faster, my horse belting out a whinny as I propped up on one wheel and peeled off into the darkness of the oncoming tunnel, promptly disappearing from everyone's view. I ended up rounding out of the tunnel on the other side and cruising to a slow drift along a rather empty street. I spotted Yellow Scarves hanging out in an alleyway opening, eying me dangerously as I passed, but I paid them no heed. On the street corner was a crackhead, sucking ravenously at the end of a blunt, too high to realize he was using in public.

Farther up was a small group of people hanging out at a bus stop, talking loudly about whatever and not even noticing me as I passed. And finally, at the end of the street was a dilapidated building with another group of Yellow Scarves seated in front of it. This group seemed to be a little unsure of my presence, eyes going wide and seemingly waiting to see if I was going to attack. I didn't even give them a second glance as I turned and headed down another street.

If not for my acute senses, I would have never heard the faint thud from about two blocks over. I stopped my bike and listened. I was supposed to be meeting Izaya here, or else I would have never come to such a decrepit neighborhood, and part of me was starting to feel insulted that I had been stood up, but the thud had been my reassurance that he had indeed been there and on time. However, there was someone else there to preoccupy him, the person I had forgotten to mention before.

I reared my horse and took off in the direction of the noise, approaching a similar street as before, this one having an obvious trail of destruction. It was a classic scene, and none would be too surprised to see, at the source of this carnage, was Shizuo Heiwajima, sporting his mandatory bartender uniform and the tire from a broken down car three feet away. At the opposite end, as expected, was Izaya Orihara, hands in his pockets and his face partially obscured by the fur-lined hood of his jacket. From here, I could still tell he was smiling that wicked grin, his body tensed and ready for action. Just barely visible, I could see the outline of his fingers in his jacket pocket twitching, grasping the concealed knife he was ready to use at any moment.

I heaved my shoulders in a mock-sigh and sat back, crossing my arms and waiting for this pointless encounter to end. Truthfully, if this went on for too long, I'd text Izaya an apology and head on home. But luckily it wouldn't come to that. Izaya was already aware of my presence, and scoffed a little towards Shizuo.

"I'm sorry, Shizu, but I've got some business to take care of. I'll take a raincheck on this playdate."

Shizuo promptly responded with some enraged roar of incoherent words, hurling the tire at Izaya like a discus thrower in the Olympics. The other man easily dodged it and skipped happily over to me, stopping just short of my bike. In the background, I saw Shizuo stiffen, his face tinting a little, this time from embarrassment instead of rage. I doubt he was embarrassed about acting so brutish in front of me, but rather that he hadn't acknowledged my being there. It was nice to know that Shizuo, for all this gruesome reputation and short fuse, could still be such a gentleman.

Izaya beamed at me from beneath his hood, standing straight though his frame never eased from its stiffness. That was the effect Shizuo had on him, like a skittish cat with a bulldog nearby. Izaya wouldn't be relaxed until his nemesis left.

"I'm so happy to see you, Miss Sturluson. I apologize for not being in the pre-designated spot, however Shizu seemed more intent on playing with me than I with you."

The mere act of Izaya talking to me seemed to upset Shizuo all over again, and he went back to the rusted car, barbarically pulling off another tire. There was no way Izaya couldn't hear the ruckus, though he ignored it politely.

"It's so noisy here. Would you like to go to a restaurant instead? I'm sure Simon would be pleased to see you."

I promptly whipped out my PDA and began typing quickly, then turned it to show him.

[Shinra has potstickers and curry waiting at home. Thank you, though. Can we just move this along?]

"Ah, yes, yes, my girl. I wouldn't want to keep you from your evening plans."

[Duck.]

Izaya dropped into a squat and I lay flat against my bike as the tire sailed beautifully over our heads. As soon as it passed, Izaya stood straight again and continued like nothing had happened. "I actually don't have much to tell you this time around except that I won't be needing you for the next two weeks."

[Why is that?]

"It's nothing against you, dear," Izaya reassured, though I hadn't been suspecting any personal distaste from the start. "I just have matters to take care of that will probably be occupying most of my time."

[Duck.]

Another tire flew by. Izaya again stood straight and chuckled. "I think he's out of tires now."

[He's going for the bumper.]

"Ah, then I'll finish now. There's going to be a gathering of Blue Squares tomorrow night at the docks. Not such a refined gathering location, but I commend them on their tenacity. They're discussing possibly taking down someone who's been a thorn in their side. I'm not really sure who, but from the way it sounds, it could turn into something pretty big. That is, unless you interfere."

[Why should it matter to you or me what the Blue Squares do?]

"Think about it," Izaya said with a sigh. "If they need to take down someone who's been putting them through some trouble, who else could it be but someone on the more powerful side of Ikebukuro?"

[A powerful person? That could be any number of people.]

"Yes, but my dear, don't you know all the most powerful people in Ikebukuro? Most have been your clients at some point."

Izaya was right, as much as I hated to admit it. And like I said before, I didn't hate any of the people I knew. So someone I considered a friend was probably going to get a hit placed on them tomorrow night. I visibly shuddered at the thought, and Izaya chuckled again.

"Glad to see we're on the same page. I'd step in to help myself, but like I said, I've got business to take care of for a week or two."

[How utterly convenient for you.]

Izaya laughed and pulled back his hood, looking over his shoulder towards Shizuo, who had finally stopped his assault but still held the large rusted bumper in his hands, ready for the next move. "Sorry, Shizu. I do hope you'll forgive me, but I must be on my way."

"Oh, no you don't!" Shizuo half-screamed and hoisted the bumper over his shoulder like a javelin. But the smaller man stood his ground and waited. To my surprise, Shizuo didn't throw the item, but instead stood awkwardly with the thing in his hand like he'd just suffered a terrible leg cramp. Izaya once again laughed and turned on his heel, taking off towards the buildings to disappear into an alley. Shizuo grunted and threw the bumper. It met a clumsy end smashing into the side of the building the other man had disappeared behind, filling the empty street with a splitting 'klang' noise before falling to the pavement.

Shizuo was gritting his teeth; I could tell from where I was. The urge to chase the information dealer was evident in his shaking body, but in a rather uncharacteristic manner, Shizuo resisted and instead turned to face me. I wasn't sure what greeting to give, though I was so used to his brash nature by now that it shouldn't have been that difficult to gesture a proper hello, but I ended up just lamely waving my hand instead. At that, Shizuo sighed and approached me, each step hesitant like I was going to scold him or something.

"How can you stand that guy?" he asked quietly, trying hard not to let his voice reflect his rage. I shrugged.

[He takes some getting used to.] It wasn't the answer he wanted to read, I'm sure, but I just wasn't sure what else to say. I liked Izaya, and Shizuo didn't. That was alright, and I think, for some reason, Shizuo accepted that as well.

"Am I keeping you from doing something?"

[No. The job is for tomorrow night.]

Shizuo gave a "hmph" and turned his head, for some reason not wanting to make eye contact with me, though I knew he was well aware I had no eyes to begin with. It may have been the bike helmet that acted as a replacement head. I thought for a moment to take it off so perhaps it would ease him a bit, but I decided against it. I wasn't terribly fond of not having my substitute head on, and even though I knew Shizuo could be a gentleman about it, I always felt like people were staring. The only one who I could stand doing this around was Shinra.

I thought back on Shinra for a moment, remembering what I had told Izaya about the dinner Shinra had bought for us. Izaya knew just as well as I that I did not eat, but to make up for my lack of appetite, I had my presence serve as an appropriate dinner gift to Shinra, who always served me food but knew I would not eat it.

I stole a glance back at Shizuo, who seemed lost in thought, so I quickly typed up something to grab his attention again. He looked back at my PDA.

[Why did you wait to throw the bumper?]

At that, Shizuo's face tinted again, quickly turning away from me and digging his hands into his pockets. "He was standing too close to you. If I'd have thrown it, it would've hit you too."

That startled me a little. The typing on my PDA seemed to grab his attention again and he glanced back over his shoulder to read my response.

[You threw the tire, though.]

"Because I knew either both of you would dodge or he would get hit, blocking you from the blow."

[You're very courteous.]

Again Shizuo let out a disappointed grunt. "So... What's the job for tomorrow then?"

[The Blue Squares are trying to stir up trouble. They're placing a hit.]

Shizuo hardly seemed interested, and I couldn't blame him. I barely even wanted to go to the meeting tomorrow night myself, but the prospect of having two weeks off afterwards held much better promise than the torment Izaya would put me through if I didn't go. Don't get me wrong; the man would never lay a hand on me (I think he was too afraid to try, and a good thing too. I would kick his ass). But he could send me harassing texts and mess with my daily life so easily that the only way I could stop him was to threaten his life, which was a promise I never made good on. I liked Izaya, and he knew it, so at the most he humored my threats, but knew I would never take the final step to kill him. Besides, I wasn't fond of killing. Despite my lineage, spilling blood just didn't suit me.

I came out of my thoughts to see Shizuo watching me curiously, and I shivered. If not for those sunglasses he wore, I'm sure I would feel two holes burning through my biker suit.

[What's wrong?]

He looked a little embarrassed, though he tried to cover it up. "Do you need help?"

This guy always seemed to take me by surprise, and I was always astounded by how much respect I could have for him. Everyone else feared this man so much, and yet I never even flinched around him. Maybe he acted differently around me? Yes, I suppose he did. Or it could've just been all women. Perhaps he was just fearful of females. That seemed rather likely, as I could tell seduction wouldn't be one of his many talents.

Realizing I hadn't answered yet, I started typing rapidly again.

[No, thank you. I'm not supposed to interfere with the meeting.] I pulled it back and typed a little more. [I just have to help out someone afterwards.]

"Who?"

[Not sure. That's why I'm going to the meeting, to find out.]

Shizuo seemed to accept the assignment as if he'd been asked to do it instead. He gave a half-shrug and grunted. "Whatever. Just try not to start anything."

I cocked my head (bike helmet) to the side in confusion.

"If you need help..." Shizuo once again looked a little embarrassed as he turned his head away from me. "Just ask, okay? You don't need to take on a whole gang by yourself."

I quickly typed a response. [I have no intention of fighting. I just want to] but I stopped when Shizuo walked away, not even looking over his shoulder at me or checking to see if I had been giving a response. Silently, he walked from the empty street and started on his way back into the busier side of Ikebukuro. I was left alone in the old neighborhood, staring after him and still holding my PDA as if I needed to finish typing. Finally giving up on seeing him return, I put my device away and reared my horse, taking off back the way I came and heading home. Shinra was waiting for me. With potstickers.

* * *

End of Part 1 - To Be Continued


	2. Chapter 2

My Overrated Perspective - Part 2

Yosuke

DRRR! not mine.

* * *

I can be relatively uninteresting sometimes, much to people's disbelief (like they think I always lead an exciting life twenty-four hours a day.) Upon my arrival home, I shared a short-lived conversation with Shinra, watched him eat, stayed up typing in the Dollars chatroom for a few hours, mainly to Saika whom I'd taken a great liking to, returned to reality by Shinra's needs for attention, beat him up a little, then retired to my room for the rest of the night. I wasn't sure if I had actually gotten any rest or not, but I felt rather refreshed the next day. I spent most of the morning and afternoon inside with Shinra, watching TV, trying to ignore Shinra's relentless admiration for me, until finally I gave up and silenced him by lying on the couch with him. I was still timid about this sort of contact, but I was starting to grow used to it. While there were times when Shinra could be lecherous, like taking a peek at me in the shower or insisting he watch me change clothes (like that took any effort at all, what with my abilities), when he just let me lay against him like this, he became a perfect gentleman and always held me fondly, even carefully, like I was made of glass. I was so happy he knew when to tone it down.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately. I'm not sure which), time seemed to fly by and it was time for me to head out for my courier assignment. If I could get this done, I'd have two weeks off. I let Shinra know that and he went nuts with the prospects of having me to himself for fourteen nights straight. I could only punch him and take my horse outside, blazing a trail out into the night and to the docks.

I silenced my bike as I approached, cruising at a slow pace along a line of empty warehouses until a light caught my attention. Upon reaching my destination, I concealed myself in the shadows of a nearby building and looked towards a rickety dock. Standing on it were three Blue Squares members, while the rest, about thirty or so, crowded around the edge of the dock on the pavement. A nearby lamppost was the only thing illuminating the scene. This was right out of a campy gang movie. I sighed at the lame situation and sat back on my bike, waiting patiently for the details I needed to come up.

One of the three on the dock, a short teenage boy with a blue bandana on, was rallying everyone's attention. I could relay all the things he said, but to be honest, it was everything that would be written on a script for some drama movie about a high school football team that was ready to take down their opponent. Pretty much all "We're not gonna take it anymore!", "We are strong! We are united!", and "It is time the Blue Squares rise again!" lines that I probably could've typed out faster than that little boy could spout. Once the generic rallying speech was over, I leaned back in and listened carefully.

"But before we can rise to power again, there is someone in our way that must be removed, someone who's been a pain in our sides for far too long!"

A chorus of "Yeah!"s emanated from the larger group.

"If we can take them down, no one will mess with us! Not the Yellow Scarves, not the Dollars, and I'll be damned if we're beaten down by that Shizuo Heiwajima again!"

If I'd had eyes, I would've rolled them. These gang members got beaten up by Shizuo because of their own problems, not because he was picking on them.

"Blue Squares... It is time for our ascension once again! It is time for us to take down the Black Biker!"

...Huh.

The mention of their target seemed to raise a tone of uncertainty in the larger group, but after a few reassuring messages, they all rallied together and soon were chanting their commands like a group of maniacs.

They must've been maniacs, honestly, because they had put a hit on me. The Headless Rider. The Black Biker. Not to sound full of myself, but they certainly would be no match for me, not in this lifetime. I couldn't even believe they were considering it. They must've been desperate, I supposed, as I held out my arm and drew out my black scythe. To be honest, I was upset by this. Normally, I'd find it almost amusing, but Izaya had promised me two weeks off if I completed this assignment, so I may as well have snuffed out the issue as soon as possible. There was no way I was going to fight off gang members for two weeks meant for relaxation.

Part of me wondered a little bit about how truthful Izaya had possibly been. He'd said he didn't know who the hit was for, but the fact that he'd sent me to take care of this instead of either doing it himself or playing around with it for a bit told me he was well aware of the target's identity. What a jerk. He was just toying with this whole thing after all. Usually his games were a little more elaborate than this, and I had to wonder if perhaps I was missing something, but this whole problem seemed simple enough to solve. Honestly, I didn't expect to snuff out this issue tonight. I could only threaten these people; I wouldn't kill them. But they'd just cower back into their hole for another night before rising up and trying again tomorrow. I'd have to scare them pretty badly this time around if I wanted at least a week free of work.

I glided out into view on my bike, scythe propped over my shoulder, and pulled to a stop about thirty feet away. They didn't notice me right away, so I revved the engine harshly so it whinnied loudly. This caught everyone's attention, and with trepidation, they all shakily turned to face me, the cheering cutting off immediately upon registering my presence. I didn't move, I just stared them down in a mock-challenge. While I was feeling rather impish about this moment, they seemed to find it terrifying, and I used that to my advantage. Revving the bike again, I held out my scythe straight, then manipulated my shadow limbs to create a flooding effect along the ground with the shadows already provided by the lamppost. I can't really recall what sort of terrifying creature I created from my dark appendages, but I can tell you it was big, loud, warped, and a huge surprise to all of them, who promptly screamed like grade school girls and flung themselves into the water to escape the monster coming for them.

Returning the scythe to my body and easing the shadows, I sat back and watched each poor Blue Square try to swim for safety along the harbor. Unfortunately, the events of that night had left me unamused, and I quickly took off for home, ready for a long and wonderful shower. I was sure I'd be seeing those gang members again soon, but I didn't really want to stay cooped up in the apartment for two weeks straight. Oh, well. I could certainly outrun just about anybody, so I didn't expect too much of a problem from them.

However, there already seemed to be a problem despite how much I'd done already. Upon arriving at the apartment and taking the lift up to the front door, I was greeted with the sight of a very tired Shizuo Heiwajima, sitting with his back pressed against the door and his head hanging. Blood stained his white sleeves, though I could see no actual injuries on him. At first, I thought he was asleep, but as he became alert to my presence, he lifted his head lethargically and looked up at me through his sunglasses.

"Iz not my blood," he commented loudly, and I quickly pulled out my PDA.

[I can see that. Are you okay?]

However, he didn't seem to want to read it. He did stare at it for a moment before his eyes meandered off to the side shortly before his head fell again. I stared in wonder, then deleted the first part of my message, kneeling down and holding the device directly in front of his face. He still didn't read it, but continued to look away, twisting his head like a stubborn child who didn't want to eat his vegetables. This was confusing. He sure was acting strange...

I stood straight and walked around in front of him, holding out a hand and tapping his shoe with my boot to get his attention. He looked up for just a moment before slapping my hand away and attempting to stand on his own, which was an idea he seemed to abort once he began to fall over. He tried a much more careful attempt, but he just couldn't make it. At first, I thought perhaps that his legs were injured, but I knew Shizuo. If he was hurt, he wouldn't let it hinder him, and if his limbs weren't riddled with bullets, lacerations, or were even still attached to his body, then he could stand up just fine. So what was holding him down?

"Where's your damn boyfriend?" Shizuo half-yelled. "I don't want him touching me. He's a freak."

That was hypocritical. Technically, we were all freaks here. But that did catch my attention. Shinra wasn't home? I found that the door was locked, so I quickly unlocked it and opened it up, though I guess I wasn't thinking too clearly on that part because as soon as the door swung open, Shizuo's stability lost out and he toppled backwards onto the floor over the threshold. I grimaced with my body and leaned down to try to help him up again, but he was hellbent on doing everything himself.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. You just keep an eye out for your boyfriend. I don't want him touching me. He's a freak."

Gradually, I think it all fell in place, and I felt pretty stupid for not deducing this before. Shizuo was heavily intoxicated. This had trouble written all over it. Shizuo was the angriest person in all of Ikebukuro, in all of Tokyo, in all of Japan for that matter! He had superhuman strength and resilience, and could switch moods at the drop of a hat. Now he was drunk, which would cause his judgement to be severely compromised. I could only imagine how badly destroyed the apartment would be after tonight if I let him stay here. But it wasn't like I could kick him out, either. Oh, well, I'd just try to keep him happy.

Setting my helmet on a desk, I walked back over to the drunken man in my doorway and knelt down behind him, hooking my arms under his. He struggled a little, but gave up as I started pulling him further into the room, then shut the door. When I turned back around, Shizuo was still lying on the floor, and I had to wonder if he'd be okay with sleeping down there. Pulling out my PDA, I typed up a question and held it directly in front of his eyes.

[Why did you go drinking?]

He had to stare at the screen for a long time before he could either read the words or comprehend the question, but he finally answered in a slurred voice. "I like to drink. It takes my mind off things."

[I've never seen you like this, though.]

"Seen like what?" he tried to ask, looking angrily at me. "What, you think I'm drunk? I'm not drunk, I'm just buzzed. This is nothing, and I'm not drunk, you incredibly beautiful headless latex woman, you."

Wow, he was smashed, alright. Shrugging in defeat, I walked around and dragged him again, this time getting him into the living room and carefully maneuvering him onto the couch. After making sure he wouldn't fall off, I fetched him a glass of water and sat on the floor beside him, watching his pitiful attempts at trying to drink the water while lying down. A lot of it ended up sloshing onto his neck and face and staining my beautiful couch.

"Don't let yer boyfriend touch me. He's a freak," Shizuo managed to choke out after finishing his glass of water, most of which was on his clothes rather than in his stomach. I took the glass from him and patted his shoulder in agreement, heading back into the kitchen. I wasn't really sure how I would be able to take care of Shizuo like this. The thoughts of trying to tame his drunkenly enraged mind sent chills down my spine, and I quickly tried to think of things to distract him with so he wouldn't be inclined to get mad at anything.

But it didn't really seem like I would have to go through the trouble. Upon returning to the living room, I saw a very docile Shizuo still laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling with an arm draped over his forehead. Maybe he finally realized how smashed he was? I approached him tentatively, laying a hand on his arm. He peeked up at me and scoffed.

"Okay, so I'm a little more than buzzed, but I ain't shit-faced so don't go accusing me of nothing."

[I wasn't going to.]

But he ignored my text and continued staring at the ceiling. "What happened... with that... job?" He seemed to be struggling to form his sentences properly, but I commended his resilience.

[The Blue Squares put a hit on someone, is all.]

He squinted at the screen for a moment. "Yeah, I know that already. Who was it?"

I hesitated to tell him. Shizuo was a friend, and I'd seen him react to people treating me badly before. He was definitely a force to be reckoned with, and I certainly didn't feel like restraining a drunken superhuman that night. So I lied. [No one important, just some menace to them.]

"Hrr..." he grunted in disinterest. "You didn't even get a name? What, gonna let 'em kill 'im?"

[I stopped them. They'll stay quiet for a while.]

"Freakin' rats..." Shizuo growled. "Sewer scum. They all need to crawl back into a drainpipe." And where I thought he would take another moment to let his sobriety attempt to stumble back to his mind, he instead tried his hardest to make eye contact with me and continue talking. 'Tried' being the keyword. His eyes darted around so much for a way to create some sort of personal interaction during our conversation, but he knew the best he could do was stare straight at where a head would normally exist atop my neck. It must've been strange for him, though, as truthfully he was just staring at the wall behind me through a veil of my black matter. He grunted after all this effort and slowly started speaking again. "I don't like Izaya talking to you."

I tried to show some surprise through a bodily manner, but I don't think he noticed.

"Well, I don't like Izaya in general, but I espec... esepcic... specially don't like him talking to you. I don't hear what you guys say, but I just don't like it."

[He's not mean to me, if that's what you're worried about.]

"He needs to die."

[Don't. You'll just throw a temper tantrum.]

"Shaddup, I will not." Despite this, however, I could still see the muscles twitch from under the fabric of his sleeves, and his body visibly tense. He was getting pissed off. Oh, dear. I had to change the subject.

[Do you plan to sleep here tonight?]

"I don't sleep." The blonde man suddenly attempted to sit up, but this had become a severe inability, and he immediately collapsed back onto the throw pillow. "I don't need to sleep. I need to stay awake. Your boyfriend is... gonna touch me."

[He will not. He knows better.]

"I'm sorry, are we talking about the same guy?" Shizuo grunted loudly. "The man keeps a pack of scalpels in his coat pocket, and I can't even sit up straight. He might-"

But I cut him off by holding my fingers to his lips. He was getting riled up, and I'd learned, somewhere along the line, that a soft touch got much better results than force. Besides, as strong as I was, I wasn't sure I could keep him down by strength alone.

Shizuo's eyes crossed trying to look at my hand, then traveled up my arm and eventually to my non-existent face. It seemed to calm him, and I quickly typed up something.

[I'll keep him away. You go to sleep.]

It took him a moment, but he finally conceded and closed his eyes. "Fine. But if I wake up with my head missing too, I'm gonna nail him to the ceiling by his balls."

I patted his shoulder as a sign of agreement and stood, fetching my laptop and settling at the bar to chat with the Dollars, waiting patiently for Shinra to return. He eventually did, bursting through the door noisily to sing his arrival to me, to which I quickly struck him in the forehead with one of my black appendages to grab his attention and point out the sleeping Shizuo on the couch. Shinra seemed a little more surprised than I would have expected. "That's not like him," he commented. "Doesn't he prefer to face his enemies head-on? It's not like him to hide like this."

[What? Hide? From what?]

"What, you didn't see? You must've gotten home pretty early." Shinra switched his voice to a volume lower so as not to disturb the sleeping terror in the living room, quietly shutting the door and setting his bag down on the countertop. "The Yellow Scarves have been swarming, for however many of them are left, anyway. They're loitering around everywhere looking for Shizuo."

Normally, this would not have been of great concern to me, as the Yellow Scarves were nothing but trouble and Shizuo Heiwajima, of all people, was more than capable of taking care of himself, but I had a feeling knowing the details of this matter would help greatly somehow. [Do you know why?]

"Why else?" Shinra moved to a seat beside me, seemingly unbothered by all of this. "There's a hit."

[Don't they know better by now?] I had to ask. For someone to put a hit on Shizuo Heiwajima, they must've been pretty desperate. Shinra laughed in response.

"You'd think so, but they looked pretty serious. Seems the hit's been out for two nights now. Guess they're pretty mad at Shizuo for continuously ruining they're plans, indirectly or no." Then Shinra went a little thoughtful, touching his hand to his chin as his gaze drifted off. "Come to think of it, didn't Izaya tell you to snuff out a hit tonight?"

[Yes, but it was from the Blue Squares, and the hit was for me.]

Shinra nearly jumped out of his skin. "What? For you? Firstly, are they crazy? Secondly, why?"

I waved my hands a little as if to show innocence. [They just seemed bothered by me. I'm a threat, and they wanted me out of the way. I guess the same goes for the Yellow Scarves and Shizuo.] I pulled back and typed out more. [And anyway, it's fine. I shut them up before they could act. They won't bother me, at least not for a while.]

Shinra tried to seem convinced, but I could tell otherwise. It wasn't so much that he was concerned for my safety; that, I knew, was something he barely dared to think about. I was, so far, undefeated, and no one was a threat to me, except Shizuo perhaps. Shinra was definitely more concerned with the idea of our two weeks of alone time being interrupted by hoodlums trying to murder me. He was being dramatic, like always.

"You know," Shinra continued, and my wandering thoughts returned to him. "Doesn't it seem strange that two gangs who want nothing to do with each other place hits for the two most powerful people in Ikebukuro in the same timeframe?"

[You think they're secretly working together?]

"That doesn't seem likely," he responded. "They'd rather tear each other apart than work towards a better cause."

[Maybe they're at a temporary truce? The Yellow Scarves ask the Blue Squares to take me out while they promise to take out Shizuo.]

"If that were the case, neither group would risk actually confronting you or Shizuo. They'd simply sit back and expect the other gang to be torn apart."

[I guess you're right. Besides, I didn't hear the Blue Squares mention any sort of plan other than to take me out.]

"Well, this is a mystery," Shinra singsonged, crossing his arms and pretending to think hard. "I guess one thing makes sense, though."

He didn't even need to look at my laptop to know my response, [What does?]

"Izaya. He told you about the Blue Squares putting a hit on you, but not about the Yellow Scarves. He's always seemed far more interested in what the Yellow Scarves are doing."

[Izaya said he didn't know who the hit was for.]

But I didn't even need to see Shinra's face to know that what I'd just typed was stupid. I'd been suspicious of this before, and once I figured that small factor out, the whole thing fell right into place like one of Izaya's elaborate puzzles. The puzzles he creates to play around with people. Izaya, the puppet master.

[I'm going to kill him. Myself.]

"Why? What's wrong?" For once, I was glad I was ahead of Shinra as far as figuring out a mystery. I hated being the last one to know something.

[I don't know if Izaya arranged or suggested to the Blue Squares that I be killed, but he definitely arranged the hit for Shizuo.]

"What makes you say that?"

[It's too great of a coincidence for two big targets to be called out in the same two days. The Blue Squares coming after me is supposed to be a distraction while the Yellow Scarves, however Izaya managed to arrange it, pursue Shizuo. So while I'm watching out for one gang, I'll be completely oblivious to the actions of another gang.]

I could see in Shinra's eyes how this was all falling into place and that he completely agreed with me.

[And not only that,] I continued typing. [But Izaya has disappeared for two weeks. That's plenty of time to pretend to not be meddling with all of this. I'm supposed to not even suspect he's nearby somewhere, watching the whole thing. And even if I were to figure all of this out, I'm supposed to think he's too far away for me to chase him down and beat him up for messing with me and my friends.]

"I must say, Celty, I love it when you're so detective-like."

I ignored him, though, and shut off my laptop. As I walked quickly past him, reaching for my helmet, he jumped a little.

"Hold on, you're not leaving now, are you?"

[I'm going to find Izaya.]

"And leave me here alone with him?" Shinra pointed almost accusingly at the sleeping form of Shizuo.

[He's asleep. He won't hurt you.]

"Are we talking about the same person?" Shinra crossed his arms in nervousness. "He's going to wake up, accuse me of doing something to him in his sleep, and beat me up! You can't leave me here with him!"

[Stop being such a baby. He probably won't even wake up before I get back.]

I was out the door before Shinra could bother to protest further. All I really remember is him fleeing to his bedroom to somehow protect himself if Shizuo was to awaken in a fury.

* * *

End of Part 2 - To Be Continued


	3. Chapter 3

My Overrated Perspective - Part 3

Yosuke

AN: Final Part is a smidge long, sorry.

DRRR! not mine.

* * *

I wasn't really sure where I was going after that. I hadn't the foggiest clue where Izaya could've been hiding, and I had no idea how to track him down. The only thing I could think to do was ask around, which was such a slow and tedious process that chances were Izaya would run further away from me once he heard I was coming. There was no way he didn't have someone nearby to warn him if trouble was coming. Izaya had connections. He was an information dealer, after all.

My first stop was a street most commonly inhabited by Yellow Scarves. It didn't take me long to spot a few. My horse had remained silent so they weren't even aware of my approach, and it was rather fun to watch their surprised reactions when they finally noticed me. Out of habit, I suppose, they broke out into a run, hurrying to escape my reach. My reach far surpasses a normal human, though, and I quickly chose one of the three and tripped him using a black extension. It was fair to say he freaked out a little, screaming in agony though I'd caused him no pain in particular, and he leapt to his feet to try and make another getaway. By that time, I had closed in on him, leaping off my bike and slamming him into a wall. His chest hit hard, knocking the wind from him. My elbow pushed roughly into the back of his neck while my other hand clenched one of his arms and twisted it harshly behind him.

By this time, his two comrades had disappeared into the night, leaving their fallen friend behind. It was a shame; I would've like to question them all, but one would do for now.

The gang member beneath my grasp cried out and tried his damnedest not to struggle. "Wh-Whaddya want? I didn't do nothin'!"

I twisted him around, planting his back against the brick wall, then with as much grace as I could, swept my leg under his. His feet flew up in the air as he fell gracelessly to the ground with a grunt. It was time to calm things down a little. I knelt before him and whipped out my PDA, quickly typing a message. [Who put the hit on Shizuo Heiwajima?]

The boy barely even glimpsed at the device, too frantic with fear. I tapped a finger against his forehead to get his attention and brought the device closer. Finally, his eyes registered the letters and read it slowly, mouthing out the words as if he barely knew how to read. "Th-The hit? I-I dunno! We were just told to take him out if we saw him! But I ain't seen him at all! I swear!"

[Who gave the order?]

"It was a message left for us at our meeting place! On a piece of paper! We thought it was from our Shogun!"

Shogun? I hadn't heard them use that term in a long time. Perhaps the Yellow Scarves were actually rallying up again? If their Shogun had returned... But there were bigger matters at hand at that moment. [Shizuo Heiwajima fought someone tonight. Who was it?]

The boy was becoming more and more paranoid, as if expecting to be punished for speaking these things, though no one was around to hear us. "I don't know any of them, but I heard they messed with his drinks before the fight. Like they tried to poison him or something!"

Damn. It made painfully clear sense. I knew Shizuo wasn't a heavy drinker, and even if he was, it was doubtful anything could knock him on his ass like it did tonight. If alcohol didn't mess up his inhibitions, poison sure would. [Does the hit on Shizuo have anything to do with the Blue Squares' hit on me?]

"I haven't heard anything like that. I didn't even know you were a target! The information we get from the Blue Squares is very scarce!"

That was to be expected. It was doubtful the two groups had any sort of communication whatsoever. And what Shinra had said had to be the truth: The two hated each other too much to even attempt a truce.

"L-Listen, I don't know anything else! I'm a lower rank, they don't tell me anything I don't need to know!"

[You can go, but I just have one more question.]

He looked trepidatious.

[Have you seen Izaya Orihara lately?]

Now he looked confused, though sweat still beaded his face. His eyes scanned the screen again as if bothered by the question. For a moment, I wondered if perhaps I had used the wrong kanji. "Izaya Orihara? I've never even met him, let alone seen him. I swear!"

Well, this was useless. I stood up and walked back to my bike, leaving the boy on the sidewalk to contemplate his recent situation and count his blessings as I sped off into the night, vaguely wondering where to go next. I encountered a few more gang members throughout the night, questioning a few, some more cooperative than others, until I eventually ended up on the main streets of Ikebukuro, completely out of ideas. All the questioning had gotten me nowhere, save for the small tidbits of information I had gotten from my first interview. My bike moved at a steady pace along the block, myself too spaced out to really pay attention to the stares I was getting from passersby. Where should I have gone next?

I stopped when I felt something tap against my helmet visor, nearly sliding it off my neck. I jumped a little and pulled to a slow stop, fixing my helmet and looking up to see what had disturbed me. It was a piece of paper held in the strong grip of a large black hand.

"Hello! Long time no see!"

My nerves settled themselves at the familiarity. [Hello, Simon.]

Simon's always-smiling face beamed down at me, his usual oblivious personality ever-present to make him all the more endearing. "You will come in and have sushi? We have great sushi for sale today."

I put a hand up to decline politely. [Sorry, not tonight.] Though I was sure he was well aware that I didn't eat. [I'm looking for Izaya. I don't suppose you've seen him, have you?]

"Ohhh, Izaya?" Simon took a long pause as if to ponder the question. "Yes, I've seen Izaya. He's inside right now having drinks and eating some great Russian sushi."

I was too startled to even type a proper response. I simply jumped off my bike and rushed into the restaurant, leaving behind an indifferent Simon. Once inside, I immediately spotted my target in a private dining room near the back of the small restaurant. Content with his situation and completely relaxed, he was sipping calmly at a glass of what I was guessing was sake and carefully deciding which sushi piece would be deemed safe to eat.

I will admit maybe my reaction was a bit over-the-top, and when approaching someone as dangerous as Ikebukuro's most notorious informant, one should be a little more cautious. I threw all that crap out the window as I used my shadowy appendages to launch the table he sat at against him, pinning him against the wall with it. The sake cup he held shattered against the wall, but not before all of its contents thoroughly doused his face. Blinking through the alcohol, he finally managed to spot me and smiled, speaking as best as he could with the edge of the table tucked uncomfortably under his chin.

"Ah, Miss Courier, I... I wasn't expecting you."

I predicted Simon or the sushi chef would be in soon to try and put a stop to my antics, so I moved along as quickly as possible. And since Izaya's hands were bound under the table, I doubt I'd have much trouble convincing him to cooperate. Standing directly in front of him, I typed up a message and shoved the PDA about two inches from his face.

[I should kill you.]

His predictable response was a laugh. "That's a little cruel, don't you think?"

[You put a hit on me!]

Another laugh. "It was just a little fun. I knew it was nothing you couldn't handle."

[You don't end things like that. You don't put hits on people, expect them to just live or die and say it was just for fun. There's something else here.]

By his fidgeting, I would've ventured to guess he was finally becoming uncomfortable. That only compelled me more, and I pressed the table against him harder. His breathing became a little labored, but I didn't care. He could suffer a little. Hell knew he deserved it.

[Why did you put a hit on Shizuo at the same time? And how in the world did you get the two more notorious color gangs in Ikebukuro to listen to you?]

He tried to laugh again but it came out as a desperate wheeze. "I doubt I have to explain it. I'm sure you've already gathered that information on your own. You're a smart woman, Celty."

I eased the pressure on the table for an instant only to slam it back into him, knocking the wind out of his chest. [Don't toy me with anymore, Izaya Orihara. I have no fear in killing you.]

"Ah, but you won't, will you?" His shoulders twisted from under the table in an attempt to free his arms. "I'm not calling your threats empty, but killing me would be counter-productive, wouldn't it?"

[There are plenty of information dealers in this city, and the Devil is kinder than you. No one would cry from your loss.]

"How cruel!" Izaya feigned his grief, a sly smile still plastered on his face before wincing in pain. "Miss Celty, I do admit that I'm not the most trustworthy person, but I can guarantee you that no matter what trick I try to pull now, you could easily kill me. Could you please lower the table? I can't speak without any air."

I don't know why I doubted his words. It was true, I could kill him at any point I wanted and he was not skilled enough to escape if I chased him. But... I don't know, the guy just deserved to be smashed under a table right then.

My shoulders eased in their stiffness after a few moments and I released the pressure on the table, but rather than let it drop, I flung it against the doorway to the dining room, positioning it to block the whole thing and sealing us in the room. Izaya slunk to his knees, rubbing his chest through his black shirt and groaning at the relief. He managed to let out a small chuckle and spoke, strangely enough, in English, "Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn."

I ignored him and dropped to my knees in front of him, shoving the PDA back in his face. [Why did you arrange the hits?]

He barely even glanced at it; he already knew what the question was. "Believe it or not, not everything is part of some greater plan to a greater triumph. Being manipulative is a great asset when you're bored."

If I'd had a jaw, it would've hit the floor. [You were bored? You arranged two people to be killed because you were bored?]

My fury was translated by the growing shadow behind me on the wall, twisting up into a hellish creature of some sort. I was nearly shaking with rage. Izaya tried his hardest to ignore the monster on the wall, but his nervousness was apparent in his stiff shoulders and tensed muscles, like a cat ready to bolt. It was strange to think I had sparked the same manner of fear in him as Shizuo did.

"Calm down, missy. I knew you could handle whatever I threw at you."

[Then what was the point of doing it in the first place? If you knew that I was just going to divert all of them, why did you think it'd last long enough to kill your boredom?]

"Because," he started in a matter-of-fact voice, "it would make the hit on Shizu all the more entertaining."

[What do you mean?]

"You'd be distracted by the Blue Squares while Shizu got to play with the Yellow Scarves. I'm assuming Shizu got to face-off with some of them, right?"

[Yes, but they poisoned him beforehand.]

I could tell Izaya was suppressing the urge to laugh. "That's a first; they actually took my advice. Those morons aren't usually smart enough to take such an obvious and advantageous route. I wonder what they ended up using to poison him with..."

Still in my rage, I grabbed the nearest thing I could get within my grasp, and in my desperation, I ended up wielding a cheap wooden chopstick, though by the way I held it, you'd think I had a wakazashi. Izaya, despite his calm demeanor, seemed to accept the threat.

"Miss Celty, I honestly meant you no harm. I knew it was something you could handle just fine."

I started to type [But Shizuo] but Izaya beat me to it.

"Honestly, do you think I'm going to be looking out for his well-being? Threaten me all you want, madam, but you and I both know that watching him squirm is one of my favorite hobbies. Did I actually expect him to die? Of course not. Did I expect a little misery out of him? Absolutely. And I must say, I have not been let down. I'm thinking of giving the Yellow Scarves a reward. Maybe they could use a recliner for their rats' nest of a hideout?" He chuckled softly to himself. I felt no need to threaten him anymore. He'd made his point, and it was a good one. He liked to torture Shizuo; everyone was used to it, including Shizuo. I just wished he could be a little less childish about it.

[Shizuo hasn't been hurt by the poison, just so you know.]

This caught Izaya's attention, if only slightly.

[He's just smashed.]

The informant seemed to have trouble digesting the idea. I tried elaborating a little.

[He's currently sleeping on my couch. I imagine his hangover will be a most unpleasant experience. For everyone. Thank you very much, Izaya.]

As expected, Izaya erupted into a fit of laughter, genuinely amused by the idea of Shizuo Heiwajima drunk. It was at about that time that I figured this interrogation was over. We would get no further tonight, and the mention of Shizuo on my couch reminded me that there was a very real possibility that my boyfriend could be dead right then. Standing quickly, I removed the table from the doorway and threw it at Izaya, who didn't bother to dodge based on the sheer size of the item and the small space available to move in the room. It hit his head hard, slamming him to the floor where he remained motionless underneath the furniture. I honestly couldn't find a sympathetic bone in my body at that moment. Perhaps a concussion would put him straight for once.

I stopped by Simon on the way out. [Would you like me to cover the damage or shall it be put on Izaya's bill?]

Simon laughed heartily and waved his hand. I wished I could've smiled at him, but it was just another item on the long list of things I would hope to do one day. Hopping on my steed, I took off into the night, heading home. I had a drunken bodyguard to take care of.

It was around 3:30 in the morning when I made it back. I felt no exhaustion, just general tiredness from having had so much activity that day. Setting my bike helmet on a table by the foyer, I stepped quietly into the living room. Thankfully, I didn't find Shinra's corpse. He, instead, was still in his bedroom, barricaded in, and probably asleep. I figured I'd join him later. For now, I had to check on Shizuo, who was still slumbering peacefully on the couch. I wasn't sure what exactly I should've done then. I doubted anything I could do for him would be much help, but I didn't want to seem like a bad hostess (despite how this position had been pushed onto me against my will). I took a blanket from the hallway closet and took it to Shizuo, covering him and hoping he wasn't too chilly from the air conditioner. Or maybe he was warm? Alcohol could make people feel hot, and I was sure poison could cause a fever. I checked his forehead for his temperature. No, not too warm. I supposed he was alright...

A strong hand caught my wrist before I could detect it, and it startled me. I jerked upright, but the grip held strong. I connected the hand to a person and saw that it was actually Shizuo holding onto me, his eyes slightly open, though his sight seemed unfocused. My body eased. I wanted to type up a greeting for him, but he wouldn't let go of my hand.

"Did you... get 'im?" he spoke through a slightly gurgled voice. I imagined he would be sick soon. Poison was not friendly to stomachs.

Because he wouldn't release my arm, I simply raised my other hand, palm up in a shrugging manner to ask "What do you mean?"

"Izaya."

I jerked a little. How had he known?

Shizuo seemed to understand my unvoiced question. "Those sewer rats... The Scarves... They can't come up with an idea like that... Poisoning me... Making me disoriented... It was Izaya. I know it was."

I let my shoulders slump as a defeated gesture, a way of saying "Yeah."

"So... Whaddya do?" His words were still a little slurred. I guessed the alcohol wasn't out of his system yet.

I tugged on my arm again, trying to free it so I could type out a response on my PDA, but he wouldn't let go. So, I carefully thought of the correct gesture to make to answer his question, and ended up making a fist, flexing it a little, and punching the air lightly. Shizuo seemed to understand it and grinned cruelly.

"Good. He deserves it. But you should've killed him."

His response was a little more low-key than I expected it to be. Waving a finger in disapproval, I poked a finger into his shoulder a few times. He chuckled.

"Well, thanks. Leave me to kill him, right? That's what I want."

I patted his shoulder and once again tried to my pull my wrist free. Instead, his grip tightened, but not painfully. The look in his eyes intensified, almost to that fearsome level that would have a sane person running for their lives. I guess that made me insane or far too sure of myself, which could also count as insane, depending on how you looked at it.

"You..."

I waited patiently to hear what drunken banter he could come up with while wondering, myself, how much longer it would take the poison to stale itself from his veins.

"You're important..."

I stopped briefly, my full attention on his words though no one would be able to tell just by looking at me. I'm sure if I'd had a head, my expression would have asked the next question, but Shizuo seemed to pick up on it nonetheless.

"You're... very important... You're someone... I need around..." His grip loosened a little and he relaxed against the pillow a bit more, as if he was losing his nerve. "I can think of very few people in this world who I'd... like to have... around... and for some reason, whenever... I think of that list of people... you just jump right to the top..."

Oh... my god... Was... Shizuo making a confession?

"I don't know why... You just... calm me down... like few other people can... You keep me in check... and... I appreciate that..."

I hesitated for a moment, thinking it may have been a smart move at that time to try and flee the room before Shizuo said anything further that he would seriously regret later.

But his eyes were clear, a slight difference from moments ago when all I had seen was the bleary-eyed, groggy look of drunkenness. Finally, knowing that I'd heard all I'd needed to, Shizuo released my wrist and relaxed his arm against his body. I had my chance to run then, but for some ungodly reason, I didn't. I felt I needed to stay, no matter how badly this might turn out.

"I..." Shizuo continued, seeming so weak, though I knew at the drop of a hat he could leap up and rip the couch in half if he wished. "I know I'm probably creeping you out, but..."

I waved a hand in front of his face to hopefully silence him. He'd released my arm, so I wasn't sure why I wasn't typing up responses for him. I think I'd just gotten used to charades at that point that it seemed more logical to continue this way.

Shizuo didn't heed my concern for him to stop, though. "I don't... I don't like it when that rotten piece of shit Izaya talks to you..." He took a moment to try to form his words coherently. "He's always up to no good... He's always out to hurt someone, and if it isn't me, it's someone good like you."

I wanted to tell him I hadn't been hurt by any of Izaya's plans, but I doubted he'd listen.

"Don't let him mess with you. Don't... listen to him at all."

Again, I wanted to respond with something along the lines of [I have to. He's my main client], but again I doubted it was something he wanted to know.

"Izaya wants you for himself."

...Well, I hadn't been expecting that.

"To him, you're just a twisted experiment, something he likes to watch and mess with and be amused by. He wants to lock you up and keep you under some kind of surveillance. I've seen it... I've seen it in the way he looks at you... I can't stand it when he looks at you."

Maybe he wasn't as sober as I thought...

"You... You shouldn't let him jerk you around, not like he does with everyone else..." Shizuo started to try and sit up, hand grasping harshly onto the couch to sustain his balance. Despite how I could hear the fibers starting to rip from under his fingers, he wasn't doing a very good job at staying balanced. The look in his eyes was intense, and for a moment I genuinely couldn't tell if he was still drunk or just impassioned by the moment. "You..." he continued, struggling valiantly to stay afloat in sobriety. "You shouldn't belong to someone like him..."

Shizuo... Be careful... Don't say it...

"You should belong to me."

It seemed like the silence after that statement stretched out forever, swallowing the apartment and leaving the two of us in a sort of limbo, unable to predict which move the other would make first, or what we should do with ourselves. Shizuo Heiwajima had just said something very dangerous, not for the sake of my relationship with Shinra, but because of what he'd said about him wanting the same thing as Izaya... Was this going to start a new feud? If Shizuo was correct and Izaya really did want me as well, then how would that escalate the fights between them? Did Izaya know that Shizuo wanted me as well?

... Why was I taking all of this information so lightly? Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima both wanted me for themselves (one for more honorable purposes than the other). Shouldn't I have been a little more shocked?

Yes... Yes, I was shocked. I was having trouble absorbing this so much that it seemed like it just didn't matter to me. But it did. Izaya and Shizuo both wanted me. I was a new target. Maybe not even new. How long had they both felt this way? How long had I been in their adoration?

I was so lost in these thoughts that I almost didn't notice Shizuo collapse back onto the couch, seemingly giving up on trying to stay vertical, and I almost thought he'd fallen back asleep. I was left in silence by myself for a moment, unsure of what to do next. Should I talk to Shinra? What would he think? Surely he wouldn't have felt threatened by them, or concerned that I'd choose them over him. I loved Shinra, and while I could see being with Shizuo could have its merits, it just didn't outweigh the feelings I had for my current boyfriend. I was Shinra's, no one else's. But still...

I glimpsed down at Shizuo. I doubted he was asleep, but more likely that he was just too nervous to be active in the present. I was sure he was still waiting for a response from me, though. Like I'd said before, he could be such a surprising gentleman.

I remained still for a long moment, thoroughly plotting out my next move in my mind so it wouldn't come out looking too foolish. I took one of his hands into my own, marveling at how much larger his hands were than mine. Then I slid one of my hands onto his cheek carefully, cautiously, as if I were disturbing a sleeping lion. He didn't move, and I was concerned he really had fallen asleep. I wanted to type something up for him to read, but I somehow doubted that even if he were awake he would be able to put together tangible sentences on a screen.

"...Sorry..." he half-muttered, catching me by surprise a little. One eye half-peeked open, his gaze listing to my "face" drunkenly. "I shouldn't have said that outloud... Bad habit of mine..."

No... I immediately thought. Don't be sorry. That was very brave of you. I don't know how long you've been carrying these feelings, and I'm a fool for never noticing. But... thank you. Thank you for finally telling me, and freeing yourself of that.

Though a part of me did doubt he'd actually remember any of it in the morning. Poor Shizuo.

I think, somehow, my moment of "silence" and subtle motions translated what I had wished I could say aloud to the man, because in the next moment, he did something rather unexpected. With still very little coordination and a definitive wobble and shakiness in his arms, his hand found mine, long, strong fingers wrapping around my own slimmer, pale ones, and he lifted it to his face. My gaze was transfixed on his face as he did the most shocking thing I'd ever seen him do (which is saying a lot, considering how many city structures he's destroyed with just his bare hands). He kissed the backs of my fingers in one long, careful, loving kiss. If there was any one person who had never seen or heard of Shizuo Heiwajima before, and had stumbled upon this moment and made any sort of determination about it, it would've been that this man was the gentlest, most reverent and considerate man in Ikebukuro. Honestly, he even had me fooled.

But in truth, it wasn't an act, and I knew that. He was doing this out of his heart's sincerest attempts to get my attention. He knew that I knew he wouldn't win me over from Shinra, and from the hazy smile on his face once he had released me, I would say he agreed.

"I think that's the best I get to do. Just so my message is clear..." He shifted on the couch a little and closed his eyes. "Going to sleep now. G'night. And don't let yer boyfriend touch me. He's a freak." And with that, Shizuo was out for the night.

I remained by the couch for a while, staring at the sleeping man's face, momentarily picturing a sleeping lion instead, and I could barely resist the urge to pet his hair once. But I didn't; I'd already crossed a line I was sure Shinra wouldn't be terribly happy with (though I knew he wouldn't say anything about it even if he were privy to that information). I wouldn't push it further.

I stood after a while and made my way to Shinra's bedroom, where I found him reading some book of entirely no interest to me. When I came in, he looked up from his book and smiled. "You're still in one piece, I see."

I waved my hand a little, though truthfully I wasn't sure what response I was trying to convey. Instead of thinking it over, I sat down on the bed with my back to Shinra, gazing at nothing while my mind lingered heavily on thoughts of Shizuo.

"...He seemed rather rowdy for one so heavily intoxicated."

It felt like Shinra was simply trying to keep up the small talk in order to stall out the real issue at hand; the hesitancy in the atmosphere was infecting my worry-laden thoughts, and I was finally forced to acknowledge the statement.

[Turns out it was all Izaya's idea.]

Shinra laughed lightly in response. "Well, I honestly couldn't imagine it any other way. I'll tell you, if those two ever stop fighting, Ikebukuro will never be quite as lively."

[That's a horrible thing to say.]

"But it's true, and be honest," Shinra spoke matter-of-factly, letting the book drop to his lap. "If Izaya didn't have half of his time to focus on Shizuo, what do you imagine he'd do with that energy instead?"

I shivered at the thought, but almost instantly afterwards, the things Shizuo had spoken (rather slurred) to me came back to mind.

"Izaya wants you for himself... To him, you're just a twisted experiment, something he likes to watch and mess with and be amused by. He wants to lock you up and keep you under some kind of surveillance. I've seen it... I've seen it in the way he looks at you... I can't stand it when he looks at you."

If Shizuo wasn't there to preoccupy Izaya's time with, would Izaya focus more on coming after me? Would he really try to lock me up? Would he experiment with me more, even more so than what he did already? Or would Izaya even have any interest in me at all if Shizuo wasn't there to have any kind of affection for me as well? Did Izaya only want me because Shizuo wanted me? Like a spoiled child who just wanted to spite his sibling? Perhaps the informant's need for me was only present to make Shizuo angry.

Eventually, I felt the deep gaze burning holes into my back, and I slowly peeked around to look at Shinra, who simply sat with an amused smile on his face, though the heat from his stare was all too noticeable. I heaved my shoulders in a mock sigh and turned more to face him.

[I suppose you want to know what Shizuo said to me.]

Shinra laughed. "I don't need to know, I think I have a pretty good idea."

[It wasn't all just drunken rantings. He seemed pretty legit.]

"I don't doubt you." Shinra set his book on the nightstand and sat up straighter against his small pile of pillows, tapping the empty space next to him invitingly. I couldn't help but join him, curling up next to him (rather shamelessly, I suppose, but I was feeling a bit vulnerable, a bit or a rarity for me). He rubbed my arm reassuringly. "Do I have anything I need to be worried about?"

[He's pretty convinced you're going to experiment on him in his sleep.]

"What do you think he'd look like with no ears?" Shinra pondered aloud, though I could easily read the joke on his face, and had I the voice to do so, I'd laugh. In lieu of a proper response, I smacked him lightly on the shoulder, and he laughed for me. "As amazing as the opportunity would be to see what makes Shizuo Heiwajima tick, I think I'll keep my scalpel away from him. I'd like to keep my head, if it's all the same." His gaze drifted off a bit, unfocused and seeming to think carefully about something. "Thank you, Celty."

I didn't really need to question what he meant; it was pretty obvious in the way he had said it. I couldn't understand why he'd be nervous about me choosing another man over him, seeing as our relationship was pretty solid (though awkward on my end at some times). To thank me for being with him seemed so useless, but at the same time, it was rare for Shinra to feel nervous or unsure. Considering all he did for me, I found no harm in trying to return the favor every now and then.

I sank down on to the bed more, laying down completely and turning on my side to lay against his lap, hand resting lightly on his stomach. His own hand rubbed my shoulder affectionately, and I settled in for some sleep, content and slightly amused with my oddly-nervous boyfriend, and very wary of the sleeping lion on my couch.

I knew I'd be thinking about Shizuo tonight, and probably the next day when we'd need to cart his hungover ass out into the street before he destroyed anyone for merely _thinking_ too loud. Shinra would no doubt be a little less than enthusiastic about the idea of his girlfriend keeping another man in her thoughts, even if it was for a short time, but I had a feeling he'd forgive me. He, above anyone else, should understand the need to experiment, to think "what if?" every now and then. It would change nothing between us, and it would not place Shizuo in any higher esteem for me than Shinra was, but I knew I would still feel that same, if not renewed, respect for the bodyguard, and I would keep the information he'd given me as a precious treasure I could always return my thoughts to.

Shinra loved me, Shizuo loved me, and for some wicked, twisted reason, Izaya seemed to have, for lack of better term, a thing for me as well. But I had all I needed here, with Shinra, and that was more than enough. Shizuo would stay in my thoughts, as I knew I would stay in his. I'd never received so much consideration in my life than when Shizuo had confessed what he felt to me, and had taken the brunt force of my obvious rejection with such grace that it had shocked even me. But he'd cared about my opinion, my perspective on the matter, as overrated as I perceived it to be sometimes, and continued on with life as if nothing had changed. He'd treated me like a normal person, like a human.

For once in my life, I didn't feel quite as overrated as the people I knew made me out to be. And it felt nice. More than nice... It made me feel normal.

* * *

Ze end.

* * *

AN: I can't even remember when I started writing this, it's been so long, and now I'm finally done. There's a little parade going on in my head.

To be honest, I realize some of my information on the show might not be completely accurate, as I've found certain aspects of the storyline to be a smidge confusing (not the whole "non-linear" thing, just the character backgrounds in general). So if you've spotted a mistake, I apologize, I tried to get all my information as correct as possible.

Review or the dullahans will get you...


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